Post by TOUCHDOWN on Nov 6, 2022 1:58:06 GMT
Three
Two…
MASTER PLAN!
Two…
MASTER PLAN!
“I’m gonna sue. I- I’M GONNA SUE!”
Tuna Meltzer rages as much as his constrained form will allow. Neck brace, crutches and an inch thick cast around his arm, all as a result of the pop-up powerbomb at the hands of Judith. His frenzied movements almost enough to throw him off the dressing room bench.
"Nah, Tunez, don't be doin' that."
Cooldown doesn't look up from his bicep curls. Stoically continuing in a fluid rhythm while chewing gum at an obnoxious pitch. Meltzer remains indignant.
"She assaulted me! ME! The lovable rascal and respected journalist! We have to make her pay in the free marketplace of ideas just as much as we'll make her pay in the ring, right Champ?!"
Meltzer turns toward Touchdown, who sits with his back to his friends, whispering under his breath. His mind an ever shifting maze of schemes and possibilities.
"C-champ?"
"It's an interesting main event ain't it? Where the result isn't in doubt, but the implications…they’re what really matter."
Meltzer looked confused before turning to be greeted with the IPW camera crew Alastor was addressing, standing in the doorway.
"HEY! You can't be back here! Where are your press passes!?"
Touchdown ignores Meltzer's ranting, waving the crew forward as he continued.
“Judy-Frudy, C-Man. Individually, two talents who could well merit caution. Together?”
A smirk spreads on the face of the Openweight Champion. He stands, arms outstretched, turning towards the camera.
“About as proficient a tag team as a balloon and a thumb tack.”
“The cracks aren’t so much cracks as they are gaping holes, ones that any team worth their salt could exploit in short order. But, the team they face? Well, while my partner ain’t no Jimi Cooldown…”
Jimi snorts, the pace of his curls quicken.
“-From one flamboyant, arrogant, athletic and intelligent Champion to another? I think we’ll manage fine. That said, as the longest reigning Champ in IPW history and one half of the greatest tag team in wrestling, I can safely pick up the slack if the Shining Star isn’t quite dazzling enough to keep up with me.”
A chuckle from Meltzer.
“Ah but don’t mistake some healthy competition for any dissension on my part. There’s enough of that to exploit from our opponents, sooner rather than later I’ll be spittin’ in MYOJIN’s face like I have everyone else in IPW, but I like to pick my moments more selectively. This match is already earmarked as the first step in what I like to call my... master plan.”
Touchdown’s grin doesn’t falter, but his eyes grow cold as his gaze narrows.
“It’s nice to see you again, Jude. The last time I saw you, you were spouting off all this shit about bein’ a killer and a monster without much to show for it, while I was goofin’ around and doing bits, also without much to show for it. What a change a few months make, eh? I’m the Openweight Champion, undefeated since First Contact. And you’re… well, guess no change there.”
“Just a lil joke, even if it’s true, ‘cause I know how badly those get to you. Even as a clown, I could recognise how much that strength and temper of yours could get turned 'round in a hurry. Doubly so, now that you’ve been paired up with the guy who kicked your ass. ‘Cause, ultimately, what's beneath the nicknames and savage offense? A lil girl desperately trying to be special. So much so that she clings onto Championships from companies that don’t matter, tosses out empty threats that have less and less validity as the weeks go by. That you wanna try an’ bring the Openweight Championship down to your level is as big an insult to IPW as I can ever make. Which therein makes it an insult to me.”
“You ain’t earned my respect, you sure as shit ain’t earned my fear. Don’t fret though, after you lose I’m sure there’ll be some school children you can go frighten after the show.”
“Just a lil joke, even if it’s true, ‘cause I know how badly those get to you. Even as a clown, I could recognise how much that strength and temper of yours could get turned 'round in a hurry. Doubly so, now that you’ve been paired up with the guy who kicked your ass. ‘Cause, ultimately, what's beneath the nicknames and savage offense? A lil girl desperately trying to be special. So much so that she clings onto Championships from companies that don’t matter, tosses out empty threats that have less and less validity as the weeks go by. That you wanna try an’ bring the Openweight Championship down to your level is as big an insult to IPW as I can ever make. Which therein makes it an insult to me.”
“You ain’t earned my respect, you sure as shit ain’t earned my fear. Don’t fret though, after you lose I’m sure there’ll be some school children you can go frighten after the show.”
Tuna nods as emphatically as his neck brace will allow.
“HERE HERE!”
“C-Word. S’almost like lookin’ into a less handsome mirror. A fella, desperate to do the right thing and send the crowd home happy. But it don’t always work out like that, does it? Sometimes, for all your hard work, you get shit. Sometimes, y’get stuck alongside the person you just beat and whose got every reason not to work alongside ya, while you’re facin’ off against two of the BEST in IPW, myself and Jimi Cooldown waitin’ in the wings. You’ll also have MYOJIN in there somewhere to watch out for as well!”
“See, you’ve got an impressive first win, you’ve got the passion that most pricks never get. But all your skills and intentions don’t make up the sheer size of the hurdle y’gotta jump. You can paint yourself as some kinda hero all you want; but in reality, you’re just a future tragedy. Sisyphus, rollin’ his stone up the hill.”
“At Adrenaline, that stone’s about to roll right back on down. Ain’t nothin’ you, the fans, your nicknames or your lil title can do about that.”
“See, you’ve got an impressive first win, you’ve got the passion that most pricks never get. But all your skills and intentions don’t make up the sheer size of the hurdle y’gotta jump. You can paint yourself as some kinda hero all you want; but in reality, you’re just a future tragedy. Sisyphus, rollin’ his stone up the hill.”
“At Adrenaline, that stone’s about to roll right back on down. Ain’t nothin’ you, the fans, your nicknames or your lil title can do about that.”
Cooldown and Meltzer flank either side of Touchdown. ‘The Fixer’ mugs for the camera while Meltzer smugly grins.
“My "master plan", really ain’t that complicated. It started way back when with a glob of spit into the owner’s face. Everybody else’s been tryin’ to play catch-up since. By the time they have, The Jamrockers'll already be on top.”
Meltzer lunges forward, narrowly keeping his balance.
“THE MAN WHO COULD OUTWIT EINSTEIN AND HOSPITALIZE TYSON! BRIGHTER THAN ANY STAR, TOO FILTHY TO PURIFY AND DAMN SURE AIN’T AFRAID OF NO BOOGEYMAN!”
“THE WHOLE CUNTING SHOW!”
“THE IPW OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION!”
“ALASTOR! TOUCH! DOWN!”
“THE WHOLE CUNTING SHOW!”
“THE IPW OPENWEIGHT CHAMPION!”
“ALASTOR! TOUCH! DOWN!”
Cooldown and Touchdown both gesture to their reproductive organs.
“Suck. Our. Dicks!”
FAIL TO PLAN?
PLAN TO FAIL!
