Post by INFINITE PRO. on Aug 30, 2022 19:24:20 GMT
Thanks For Tunin' In
Three
Two
One
Let's Jam!
We open on a front facing camera shot of the side of Jimi Cooldown’s face.
“Nah, man. I’m cooking dinner.”
“I don’t know, bro. I think I might go with something generic and boring..”
“Yeah, I’m thinkin’ maybe I’ll just call him old, say somethin about being washed or something like that. I’m thinkin about dropping a reference to an antiquated ass TV show everyone’s forgotten.”
“For a bit.”
A longer muffled response.
“You’re right. It would be a bad bit. Good lookin’ out.”
“You wanna know somethin’? Jack, I ain’t listened to a damn thing you’ve said about me or my hetero life partner. Why? Because I already KNOW what you’re gonna say, my man. That’s not me bein’ some kind of genius mind reader or nothin’. That’s not me just sayin words. I already know what you’re gonna say because you, my man, are just another crotchety old asshole who doesn’t get it!”
“You’re a victim, man. You’re trapped. You are trapped in an era from, like, a whole ass decade ago. You are trapped in the era where you used to be popular. Where you used to be with IT! But you know what your problem is, my man? You’re no longer with “it”, You’re no longer with “it” because guys like Al and like me came along and we changed what “it” is. And that just eats you up inside because ain’t nobody. Ain’t NO-BO-DAY care about Reckless Jack anymore. No one is buying tickets for Reckless Jack. No one is buying seats for Reckless Jack. No one is buying T-Shirts. They want the OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL Jamrockers v. IPW shirts. They buy seats for Los Jamrockers. They buy tickets to see La Jamrockers. Because we’re with IT!”
“We define what IT is.”
”Cause you can sit there, wallowing in your own pity, and be upset by The Jamrockers. Because guys like Al and guys like me have more talent in our pinky fingers than you have left in your entire BODY! You can sit there and say that we don’t know the difference between a wristlock and a headlock, you can say that we don’t know how to work, that we’re just geeks killing the business. There ain’t nothing further from the truth. I’m not killing the business. I’m killing it in the business!”
“If you’re sittin’ there callin’ me or Al jokes, sayin’ that all we are a couple of Bit Boys, you’re doin’ it wrong! Al and I are serious pro wrestlers. In this company's history, me and Al are the very first winners. Last week, Al proved to the world that he can get the job done while I proved that in every facet of this business, I’m one of the best to ever do the damn thing! This coming week, I step foot in the ring with an all time legend, a man that USED TO be feared. I don’t fear ya, Jack, but I am gonna beat ya. The only joke in this business after Adrenaline? Will be you.”
“I can sit here and run down your history. Sure, it’s long, and impressive. Maybe it’s a sign you’re out of your depth, old fella. Maybe it’s time to hang ‘em up before ya get hung high. I get it though man. Being the angry aggressive type. It’s cool. But there’s a lot of guys who do it a lot better.”
Cooldown laughs and shakes his head.
“Reckless Hack, I think I’ve gotten to the bottom of it. I’ve figured out why you are the way that you are. You’ll sit there in a dark basement or whatever and talk about how violent and angry and cool you are. Then you’ll look over at two guys like me and my guy who are happy and lovin’ life and we’re spittin’ jokes back and forth and we’re doin’ bits. And you’ll get angry. You’ll get angry because you’re JEALOUS! RECKLESS HACK HAS ZERO SAUCE AND ZERO FRIENDS! So you’ll get jealous, and you’ll get bitter, and you’ll try to bring us down. You’ll try to clip our wings. You’ll try to dismiss us. All while inside wishing SO BAD that you could be in on it. Wishing that you had THIS!”
“My man, don’t you ever get tired of bein’ such a jaded asshole? Maybe, just maybe, if you weren’t such a cynical brooding PUH-RICK, you’d have a friend, a partner, an amigo. But, instead you’ll sit there and whine and cry about how no one cares about you. Reckless Jack, my favourite hack, I can’t WAIT to see how you’ll cry….”
“....When “Live and Direct” Jimi Cooldown beats your ASS!”
Cooldown smirks and walks off camera as black smoke begins to waft from the oven.
“FUCK! I FORGOT ABOUT THE OV-”
The shot cuts to black.
Too Hot To Handle...
Need To Cool Down