Post by INFINITE PRO. on Aug 30, 2022 20:32:06 GMT
We open up on a nice Airbnb as PRICE is looking out the window over the Irish countryside while making his evening coffee. Off to the right, a familiar looking portal of fire opens as a rather haggard and hungover looking Spike Kane stumbles through.
PRICE: Oh good, you done playing slap ass with ya Bang Bus crew?
Spike: BANG! *hic* Bros! *hic* you were invited too!
Spike reaches for a jar, absentmindedly looking for something, when PRICE turns to hand him a pre-rolled joint, the shrubbery in the background starting to make sense. This place is on a cannabis farm, Spike takes it willingly and immediately lights it up.
PRICE: Naw, Curtis is ight, but the rest of ‘em don’t like me and I don’t trust them…and fuck Steve Awesome, he smells like he looks! Look…it’s whatever, go rest up, we got a tag match to make a statement in.
After a deep inhale and a long slow exhale, Spike smirks at PRICE.
Spike: I mean there’s more than one way to make a statement….have to welcome you to Ireland properly and all.
Now that causes a smirk to spread across PRICE’s face.
PRICE: Bout time. How’d you even find this place?
Spike: Oh, it’s private property. They have a contract with the government, most of this shit goes to Canada and the US, I know the owners, old friends.
Spike passes the joint to PRICE.
PRICE: Nice, so what did you have in mind?
Now Spike extends his arms, clearly still not sober, but looking happier than he has in a long time.
Spike: TO THE PUB!
We jump cut from the Airbnb to see Spike and PRICE in what looks like a local small countryside pub, the seats and the booths are empty as the camera pans around slowly towards the bar where we can see PRICE and Spike surrounded by a group of people, all shouting, cheering, and looking quite drunk.
PRICE: Y’all motherfuckers can drink.
Spike: Well, y’know, you’ve gotta numb the desire to throw off years of oppression and burn down the palace!
A few cheers ring out, Spike is ten sheets to the wind already, probably still drunk from celebrating the Call to Arms victory. PRICE seems to be catching up.
PRICE: I’m all for burning things down.
Bartender: Not. My. Pub.
Spike: Noooo, noooo, nooo, never. We would never do that!
There’s a lull in the noise for a moment before music begins to kick in from the jukebox. A few of the locals begin to join in, Spike stares at PRICE, grinning, before joining in!
Spike: MICHAEL THEY HAVE TAAAAAAAAAAKEN YOU AWAAAAAAAAY!
In an instant, almost the whole pub is joining in, even the bartender as he goes about his business.
Spike: LOW! LIE! THE FIELDS! OF ATHENRY!
Random customers: Where once, we watched, the smaaaalll freebirds fly!
Spike: OH BABY LET THE FREE BIRDS FLY!
With a pint of Guinness in one hand, Spike climbs up onto the bar stool, while others around him begin to copy. PRICE, also with a pint of Guinness, raises his towards Spike as they all begin to sing along, and belt the folk song out.
PRICE: I’ma need a whole mess of shots if y’all gonna be singing and shit.
Spike: Dude, come on! These songs are about freedom, and fighting oppression!
PRICE: ….and?
Spike: Just drink! Come on! EVERYONE DRINKS ON PRICE!
The two share a look, PRICE’s suggests a “oh no you didn’t” but Spike smirks, and all of a sudden everyone in the bar is scrambling towards the two of them, the music still playing in the background, the bartender has quite a big smile on his face as Spike wink’s and slides his credit card over to him. The liquor begins to flow, as Spike and PRICE raise their drinks…
We drunkenly fade, to a blurry wipe, a short time later we fade in, the sun is out and the two XHF Hardcore Legends come making their way out of the bar, behind them through the door we see no one else was able to hang with the pair as they are all passed out on the bar and tables inside. The two make it a few feet out the door before PRICE notices the camera, and shakes his head, there is always a fucking camera.
PRICE: Looks like Mr. Long wants us….to….uh…like promote something or some shit.
Spike: Oh yeah we’ve got a tag match coming up don’t we…
The two turn to each other, PRICE slaps the ever living shit out of Spike and Spike returns in kind, sobering both up enough to do what they do best.
PRICE: ‘Ight, let’s talk our shit….IPW! What’s good! It’s ya boy’s, the godfathers of violence, the kings of xtreme, The Blood God and The Messiah better known as The Alpha and Omega, because we are the beginning and the end of IPW’s tag team division.
Spike: People been spoutin’ off the mouth about how this tag team is the best, or this division is the best, or that division….when in reality? It doesn’t matter what division we’re in, but if Chaos Theory are involved? You know they’re going over. Even the overhyped, egotistical pricks the Jamrockers need to learn this, but I’m sure we can teach them first hand come First Contact!
PRICE: Jamrockers? You mean those cosplaying tribute act boys? Opening act time is over boy’s, now it’s time for the headliners to take the stage and do what they do best, lay waste to anyone and everyone around us.
Spike: See that’s not a threat, listen to him when he talks. For fuck sake, why does nobody ever listen? It’s been years, YEARS, we’ve been absolutely crushing the opposition, we’ve gone to war, and we’ve ended careers just because we can. Just because we could, just because we can….we thrive off of it. So you can take your Jamrockers, you can take your Dead End Exp-
PRICE: I kinda like dem boys in Dead End Express…
Spike: What?
PRICE: I mean, they are dumber than a box of rocks but they remind me of that team we had running around back in the day, what were their names, Redneck Rascals?
Spike: Pretty sure they went by Redneck Renegades?
PRICE: YEAH THEM! But ya know…with talent. Anyways yeah I like what them boy’s bring to the table. They scrap, they fight dirty, they fight mean, they be my type of peoples, it’s a damn shame we are going to have to put em down old yeller style. But on the other hand we go them scrubs Donzig Goon? I know of one pair of Goon’s and these two aint it. But I’m well aware of Donzig, how could I not be? He single handedly made me cancel my subscription to the XHF Network!
Spike: Uh…we get that for free.
PRICE: THAT’S HOW SICK I AM OF SEEING HIS FACE ON EVERY GODDAMN PROGRAM! Try to watch some kick ass Japanese Deathmatches in JROK, Donzig! Try to watch Goldbear II tear someone from limb to limb on GUNS, Donzig! So forth and so on, I’m fucking sick of it! So Imma do what no one else has had the courtesy of doing, Imma personally END Donzig. so to the XHF Network faithful, you're welcome.
Spike: I never saw it that way, but I gotta agree. The XHF Network will be thanking us and Long will be writing up fat new contracts to try and tie these two giant balls of violence and chaos to exclusive deals, because we’re about to put the IPW Tag team division on the map. We’re going to walk into First Contact, without giving a single fuck who is standing in our way, and we’re going to crush everyone between us and where we deserve to be, which in case you’re not paying attention - is the top of the fucking mountain!
PRICE: But they say we’ve fallen off homes, that we are shells of what we used to be, our best years are behind us, hell one mark said we haven’t been relevant in his business since 2008, while with me personally that might be true as I was RETIRED sayin that shit about you? Naw.
Spike: Nah nah, fuck this. I’m beyond people trying to downplay us man, I’m beyond people trying to make sneaky little bitch comments, when before you stand two Pillars of Hardcore, two people who have gone out of their way to learn how to inflict so much pain, how to revel in the violence, and how to absolutely flourish amongst the chaos…
PRICE: We were born into the chaos, raised by the chaos, shit we didn’t see sanity till were were grown ass men and then we rejected that because we LOVE THE CHAOS. I don’t give a fuck if you put one team or ten across us we will hurt maime and destroy ANY AND ALL THAT STAND IN OUR WAY!
Spike: Listen, it’s called a clusterfuck for a reason. I don’t give a fuck if Long wants to get twenty tag teams on the card, he put an entire army in front of us, because these dickheads don’t seem to understand. We’re not standing here boasting, we’re not claiming we’re the best in the world or any of that bullshit. We’re simply stating a fact, putting you on notice….we’re coming for war. We’re coming to fight, because at the end of the day? The last ones standing are the winners, and that’s how it fucking should be. Win or lose, we’ll go down swinging, and swinging way fucking harder and more brutal than anyone else has the balls to do so….We’re Chaos Theory…
PRICE: We’ve got NOTHING to prove to you fucking marks. Fame? Got that, Fortune, I own my own private island off the coast of Tahiti, it truly is a magical place. Gold? Been there, held that. Naw son’s we are here for one simple reason, to fight and hurt people.
Spike: A fight is what we want, a fight is what we’re looking for. No flips, just fists. I can’t wait to get in that ring and show each and everyone one of you the limits of your pain, and how much fun we can have doing so….it’s gonna ignite the IPW Tag Team division, that’s for sure…..but there’s also a pretty high chance, we might straight up murder the division in one night…
PRICE: No-one can save you.
Spike: The CHAOS awaits you.
PRICE: We have spoken.
PRICE: Oh good, you done playing slap ass with ya Bang Bus crew?
Spike: BANG! *hic* Bros! *hic* you were invited too!
Spike reaches for a jar, absentmindedly looking for something, when PRICE turns to hand him a pre-rolled joint, the shrubbery in the background starting to make sense. This place is on a cannabis farm, Spike takes it willingly and immediately lights it up.
PRICE: Naw, Curtis is ight, but the rest of ‘em don’t like me and I don’t trust them…and fuck Steve Awesome, he smells like he looks! Look…it’s whatever, go rest up, we got a tag match to make a statement in.
After a deep inhale and a long slow exhale, Spike smirks at PRICE.
Spike: I mean there’s more than one way to make a statement….have to welcome you to Ireland properly and all.
Now that causes a smirk to spread across PRICE’s face.
PRICE: Bout time. How’d you even find this place?
Spike: Oh, it’s private property. They have a contract with the government, most of this shit goes to Canada and the US, I know the owners, old friends.
Spike passes the joint to PRICE.
PRICE: Nice, so what did you have in mind?
Now Spike extends his arms, clearly still not sober, but looking happier than he has in a long time.
Spike: TO THE PUB!
We jump cut from the Airbnb to see Spike and PRICE in what looks like a local small countryside pub, the seats and the booths are empty as the camera pans around slowly towards the bar where we can see PRICE and Spike surrounded by a group of people, all shouting, cheering, and looking quite drunk.
PRICE: Y’all motherfuckers can drink.
Spike: Well, y’know, you’ve gotta numb the desire to throw off years of oppression and burn down the palace!
A few cheers ring out, Spike is ten sheets to the wind already, probably still drunk from celebrating the Call to Arms victory. PRICE seems to be catching up.
PRICE: I’m all for burning things down.
Bartender: Not. My. Pub.
Spike: Noooo, noooo, nooo, never. We would never do that!
There’s a lull in the noise for a moment before music begins to kick in from the jukebox. A few of the locals begin to join in, Spike stares at PRICE, grinning, before joining in!
Spike: MICHAEL THEY HAVE TAAAAAAAAAAKEN YOU AWAAAAAAAAY!
In an instant, almost the whole pub is joining in, even the bartender as he goes about his business.
Spike: LOW! LIE! THE FIELDS! OF ATHENRY!
Random customers: Where once, we watched, the smaaaalll freebirds fly!
Spike: OH BABY LET THE FREE BIRDS FLY!
With a pint of Guinness in one hand, Spike climbs up onto the bar stool, while others around him begin to copy. PRICE, also with a pint of Guinness, raises his towards Spike as they all begin to sing along, and belt the folk song out.
PRICE: I’ma need a whole mess of shots if y’all gonna be singing and shit.
Spike: Dude, come on! These songs are about freedom, and fighting oppression!
PRICE: ….and?
Spike: Just drink! Come on! EVERYONE DRINKS ON PRICE!
The two share a look, PRICE’s suggests a “oh no you didn’t” but Spike smirks, and all of a sudden everyone in the bar is scrambling towards the two of them, the music still playing in the background, the bartender has quite a big smile on his face as Spike wink’s and slides his credit card over to him. The liquor begins to flow, as Spike and PRICE raise their drinks…
We drunkenly fade, to a blurry wipe, a short time later we fade in, the sun is out and the two XHF Hardcore Legends come making their way out of the bar, behind them through the door we see no one else was able to hang with the pair as they are all passed out on the bar and tables inside. The two make it a few feet out the door before PRICE notices the camera, and shakes his head, there is always a fucking camera.
PRICE: Looks like Mr. Long wants us….to….uh…like promote something or some shit.
Spike: Oh yeah we’ve got a tag match coming up don’t we…
The two turn to each other, PRICE slaps the ever living shit out of Spike and Spike returns in kind, sobering both up enough to do what they do best.
PRICE: ‘Ight, let’s talk our shit….IPW! What’s good! It’s ya boy’s, the godfathers of violence, the kings of xtreme, The Blood God and The Messiah better known as The Alpha and Omega, because we are the beginning and the end of IPW’s tag team division.
Spike: People been spoutin’ off the mouth about how this tag team is the best, or this division is the best, or that division….when in reality? It doesn’t matter what division we’re in, but if Chaos Theory are involved? You know they’re going over. Even the overhyped, egotistical pricks the Jamrockers need to learn this, but I’m sure we can teach them first hand come First Contact!
PRICE: Jamrockers? You mean those cosplaying tribute act boys? Opening act time is over boy’s, now it’s time for the headliners to take the stage and do what they do best, lay waste to anyone and everyone around us.
Spike: See that’s not a threat, listen to him when he talks. For fuck sake, why does nobody ever listen? It’s been years, YEARS, we’ve been absolutely crushing the opposition, we’ve gone to war, and we’ve ended careers just because we can. Just because we could, just because we can….we thrive off of it. So you can take your Jamrockers, you can take your Dead End Exp-
PRICE: I kinda like dem boys in Dead End Express…
Spike: What?
PRICE: I mean, they are dumber than a box of rocks but they remind me of that team we had running around back in the day, what were their names, Redneck Rascals?
Spike: Pretty sure they went by Redneck Renegades?
PRICE: YEAH THEM! But ya know…with talent. Anyways yeah I like what them boy’s bring to the table. They scrap, they fight dirty, they fight mean, they be my type of peoples, it’s a damn shame we are going to have to put em down old yeller style. But on the other hand we go them scrubs Donzig Goon? I know of one pair of Goon’s and these two aint it. But I’m well aware of Donzig, how could I not be? He single handedly made me cancel my subscription to the XHF Network!
Spike: Uh…we get that for free.
PRICE: THAT’S HOW SICK I AM OF SEEING HIS FACE ON EVERY GODDAMN PROGRAM! Try to watch some kick ass Japanese Deathmatches in JROK, Donzig! Try to watch Goldbear II tear someone from limb to limb on GUNS, Donzig! So forth and so on, I’m fucking sick of it! So Imma do what no one else has had the courtesy of doing, Imma personally END Donzig. so to the XHF Network faithful, you're welcome.
Spike: I never saw it that way, but I gotta agree. The XHF Network will be thanking us and Long will be writing up fat new contracts to try and tie these two giant balls of violence and chaos to exclusive deals, because we’re about to put the IPW Tag team division on the map. We’re going to walk into First Contact, without giving a single fuck who is standing in our way, and we’re going to crush everyone between us and where we deserve to be, which in case you’re not paying attention - is the top of the fucking mountain!
PRICE: But they say we’ve fallen off homes, that we are shells of what we used to be, our best years are behind us, hell one mark said we haven’t been relevant in his business since 2008, while with me personally that might be true as I was RETIRED sayin that shit about you? Naw.
Spike: Nah nah, fuck this. I’m beyond people trying to downplay us man, I’m beyond people trying to make sneaky little bitch comments, when before you stand two Pillars of Hardcore, two people who have gone out of their way to learn how to inflict so much pain, how to revel in the violence, and how to absolutely flourish amongst the chaos…
PRICE: We were born into the chaos, raised by the chaos, shit we didn’t see sanity till were were grown ass men and then we rejected that because we LOVE THE CHAOS. I don’t give a fuck if you put one team or ten across us we will hurt maime and destroy ANY AND ALL THAT STAND IN OUR WAY!
Spike: Listen, it’s called a clusterfuck for a reason. I don’t give a fuck if Long wants to get twenty tag teams on the card, he put an entire army in front of us, because these dickheads don’t seem to understand. We’re not standing here boasting, we’re not claiming we’re the best in the world or any of that bullshit. We’re simply stating a fact, putting you on notice….we’re coming for war. We’re coming to fight, because at the end of the day? The last ones standing are the winners, and that’s how it fucking should be. Win or lose, we’ll go down swinging, and swinging way fucking harder and more brutal than anyone else has the balls to do so….We’re Chaos Theory…
PRICE: We’ve got NOTHING to prove to you fucking marks. Fame? Got that, Fortune, I own my own private island off the coast of Tahiti, it truly is a magical place. Gold? Been there, held that. Naw son’s we are here for one simple reason, to fight and hurt people.
Spike: A fight is what we want, a fight is what we’re looking for. No flips, just fists. I can’t wait to get in that ring and show each and everyone one of you the limits of your pain, and how much fun we can have doing so….it’s gonna ignite the IPW Tag Team division, that’s for sure…..but there’s also a pretty high chance, we might straight up murder the division in one night…
PRICE: No-one can save you.
Spike: The CHAOS awaits you.
PRICE: We have spoken.